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In which I am not a vampire

2011/03/21

Unfortunately, not only am I eating lunch some 4 hours late but I’m also eating blood, as opposed to real meat.   Apparently, asians make cakes out of blood.   I thought they looked good… when I was 3.  A little older and a little wiser (cough, Zoology class), little cakes of pork blood are somewhat less appetizing.

Just because I’m doing that doesn’t mean I’m a vampire.  And I don’t know about vampires but I’m pretty sure there are a couple reasons I wouldn’t recommend a vampire diet.

  • Taste.  If you haven’t tasted fresh blood before, you’ve never had a nosebleed.  Nosebleeds have many causes (some more real than others): broken noses, dehydration, fatigue, stress, picking one’s nose too much, and though I’ve never heard of this happening in real life, thinking perverted thoughts.  Fresh blood tastes kind of salty and rusty because it contains sodium and iron.  Too much of it is just a little nasty.
    That said, the cooked cakes of pork blood tasted weird.  I don’t know if it was because pigs have  a lot of fat or because the blood was cooked.  They were like soy bean jelly, except the taste was more alien.  They weren’t all salty like fresh blood, maybe ’cause my mom boiled them.
  • Parasites.  They come from swine.  Practically all the famously horrible parasites people can ingest comes from there.
  • Universal safety precaution says if the blood’s not yours, don’t even touch it.

And here I am, not just touching blood but eating it, and not just eating blood but eating pork blood.

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