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I was feeling kind of angsty today and I don’t know why.  I mean, I got to hang out with some friends… well, at the end we were just lamely crashing at N5’s house.  I like her dogs, but they’re the only ones I’m totally comfortable with.  Everybody else, I feel kind of careful.  Maybe it’s because I’m a Christian, so even if I like a person, there’s a kind of gap.  If that’s the case, I wish they would all be Christians… they seem like the type of people who would make good Christians.  Does that even make sense?

I’ve thought about selfish motive.  Even when we do good things, we’re kind of looking for merits.  The “warm and fuzzy feeling” makes people feel good, which is why they keep doing good things.

What are feelings, anyway?  If I stop to think about them, how shallow and deep they are/can be and whatnot, I don’t understand.  I know I feel happy when I play or talk to friends, but when that feeling disappears when the actions stop, then what are they worth, anyway?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. 2009/06/30 02:19

    yeah, I guess feelings generally start out as relatively shallow and can grow deeper over time.  there has to be things causing the feeling to grow deeper, like reinforcing actions or getting to know the person.

  2. 2009/06/30 03:34

    @kiemthan And when I die, what then?  For who can say what will happen the next year, the next day, the next second? Well, I see your point. I guess the important thing is “Waste not, want not.”

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