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i’ve just been feeling sorry for myself a ton lately. aren’t i sad? i should just accept that i’m a loser and no one cares. if i make a smart crack that actually passes off as funny, good for me. but i should just be honest with myself…

what’s screwed with me

  1. i hate taking spanish. i would much rather improve my crappy chinese. jennifer, don’t you agree?
  2. i’m the most hopeless athletic-wise person i know, besides saraf. and saraf is just an academic-acheivement-obsessed person.
  3. i’m not even pulling good academic grades… considering i’m azn. i know “azns r smart” is really stereotypical, but i don’t care. there’s a reason azns r smart, but somehow i screwed.
  4. i’m extremely antisocial. yes, i KNOW it’s wrong with me, but that’s the part i don’t mind not changing too much.
  5. i wasn’t even born in the right azn race. i think i’m pretty un-Chinese, personally. i’m not THAT competitive, am i? i’d rather take over other ppl’s stuff and let them take all the credit and know that i helped.. but i’m really building on their stuff anyway, so i don’t mind letting them take full credit. in classes i can usually figure out technical stuff (without teachers cuz i don’t pay good enough attention in class) but i have zero creativity. The whole thing about being CHINESE is not letting others get ahead. it screwed in my case.

my dad’s playing hecka old brothers four stuff.. i don’t even remember when i last heard these… i just know the tunes ring bells…. k.. some of them bug me now.. they’re more like kiddie songs.. whee?

i feel better now.. i’ve changed a lot of xinxins to chinese and a couple of lis too..

not my name
starstar (what esther, david, and priscilla called me when we started using english)
newstar (that’s the stupid simplified chinese school).
newnew (or fresh, as the korean girls put it)

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    2006/05/29 14:44

    aww rebekah u hafta cheer up more…have u ever wondered why u r what u say u r?? maybe if u think about y u make urself like that u can do something about it and tehn u`ll feel better. like trying to b more social and make lotsa friendsss lol x]

  2. 2006/05/29 18:40

    yeah i agree…you need to fix your chinese. shame really…lots of abc don’t even KNOW how to speak chinese. so i guess you’re better off than most abc’s. chinese is really an awesome language you know, and there are lots and lots of cool books. the problem is your chinese is not good enough for you to read ’em.looks like you’re really depressed these days. maybe you should try some chocolate. i always find that i feel better after i ate some. 😀

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