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bout with depression


I think I’m depressed

  1. I worry about school
  2. I worry about my forgetfulness
  3. I worry about myself
  4. I worry about my friends
  5. I worry about death.
  6. I worry about how stupid I am
  7. I don’t worry about my dog killing me
  8. I do worry about my dog bursting my eardrums
  9. I worry about my skills overall.
  10. I worry that I’m too weak
  11. I worry that I shouldn’t be worrying about things like the above
  12. I worry that my friends are too shallow for me, and too fun-loving for me, and too unlike me, and that there’s no one that understands the way i think.

I worry about the dog when Hannah threw a fit, screamin “Mommy” and giving my ears no rest.

  • then she nabbed my binder and threw
  • then I threw it at her
  • then she kept crying.
  • then the poor dog just couldn’t take it anymore, and joined in the chorus

I forgot my lunchbox, and—after a bus ride worrying about depression, death, and hoping I’m not suicidal, and hoping no one thinks I’m suicidal—I just about lost it. I want to scream


help me someone
I can’t even see the keyboard……….
I can’t take it…………….
someone help me.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. 2005/11/07 20:58

    Hey [Shock]. I’m here too.. Call me whenever.

  2. 2005/11/07 21:11

    I call them fake because they contradict each other. and then my parents denied each reason. I respect their judgement, just not their reasons

  3. 2005/11/07 21:38

    Ah… does everyone go through this kind of stage, or is it just the circumstances? What do the psychologists have to say?! Aah!
    I’m sorry things seem crummy right now, but people care about you so try and cheer up. You’ll get by this.

  4. 2005/11/07 22:01

    well, if you think about the positive side of things it should help you stop worrying because worrying usually comes from negative thoughts…. you shouldn’t be worrying ’cause overall you’re smart, talented, strong, and the more you forget, the more alert you are to remember, and about your dog…. well on the positive side, it’s cute and it likes to sing! (on the plus side if it does break your eardrums, at least you won’t have to hear it sing any more…)

  5. 2005/11/07 22:21

    ahhh well… everyone gets this kind of um… feeling… at some point in their life. I guess it’s part of growing up. last year I was really depressed too but hey, I got over it. I thought I was depressed and suicidal too. I even thought of killing myself ’cause I thought not even my mom would care. there’s proof ya know. I wrote a post on it on my xanga. can’t remember what day it was though. don’t worry. you’ll be feeling just fine in a few days.

  6. 2005/11/07 22:47

    …………………………. okay, first of all, CHILL! stop worrying
    it’ll only make it ten times worse…. (take it from someone with a heck of a lot of experience…..) ^^;;, anyway, it’ll be fine! you’ll find a way out of your mess…….. you usually do! ^^ and subscribe to me!!!!

  7. 2005/11/08 02:17

    just do the best you can at school, remember Matthew 6:25 – 34 about not worrying, death isn’t something to worry about — Christians have eternal life, you may be weak but you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you [philippians 4:13] =)

  8. 2005/11/08 19:01

    In response to wistfuleyes, different psychologists say different things. According to Erickson, adolescents (early teens) face the main conflict of “Identity versus role confusion,” and have the question “Who am I?” There’s a lot more about identity crisis and other things that other teenagers face, but nothing worth mentioning that would be helpful. I found that most of the stuff in my psych textbook about adolescence is just a more formalized, descriptive, thorough explanation of what I already know. I’ve always found it interesting when pastors quote psychologists. The greatest insight into human nature can be found in the Bible.

    For me, family conflicts were the most emotionally turbulent experiences that I’ve had. “Turbulent!?”, you might think, “Turbulent doesn’t even begin to describe it.” You’re right. It’s earth-shaking, explosive, sickening, utterly exhausting. Once, my friend was telling me about a monumental conflict she had with her family, and she said that she felt like she had “died and went to hell.”

    Here is a favorite verse of another friend: “Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God,for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:11

    In tough, gut-wrenching times, sometimes we are stripped of control and feel helpless, powerless, weak. I guess sometimes it just takes that much to realize our true state.

    Pray to the Lord, cast your cares upon him, believe that he will get you through it. Also, remember that Christ also knows what it’s like to suffer intensely. Betrayed, persecuted, beaten, he endured more than we ever will for our sake. He will be there for you, even at times when no one else will.

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