Dream 3 [warning, contains humiliation of author]

Just to get something off my chest first:

Today, I missed church.  While I was driving there, I couldn’t remember whether I’d closed the garage door and neither could my sister.  I usually would assume that I probably did close it out of habit and even if I didn’t, it wouldn’t matter much.  I can’t do that anymore because just last month in my once-secure neighborhood, someone stole tools and maybe engine oil from my often-open garage.  I dropped her off and drove back home to check.  It was closed and if I headed back to church again, I’d probably wouldn’t be in time for anything except the free lunch.  I am not a freeloader (at least, not outside my house) so I stayed home.

Now for my dream:

For some reason, I was in an L-shaped classroom kind of set up.  We weren’t in individual desks, just folding chairs at those long foldable tables like you see in school cafeterias.  I think it was something church-related.  I guess we were doing Bible study, so I guess it was the Bible study leader who said that there were some new people present.  I leaned towards my right to see around the corner of the room (the other leg of the L was in front of me to the left) and was surprised to see a “full-timer” from SoCal.  Earlier this year in real life, I’d stayed at my friend’s house with her in her room and that guy was staying in her brother’s room next door.  In my dream, both of us were very surprised to see each other.

“You guys know each other?”
“Yeah, we met before.”
“Really?  Since when?”

I was about to launch into a brief but thorough explanation but took a fatal pause to get ready.  He  answered while I was mid-pause.  Interrupted, really, but it was my fault for pausing…
“We met last [winter].”  Did you have to put it that way? “We”?  There’s just something wrong with answering for another party in this situation with the word we.

Awkward laughter ensued: “From the way you said that, are you dating?”  Yeah, I was wondering about that, too.
“Oh, no, we’re not dating!  Not that I wouldn’t but because [bla bla bla] so the situation was really just [bla bla bla].”  Facepalm.  Where is this going?
“Well, would you?”  No.  No.  No, do not go there.  What is happening?
“I don’t know.  I guess it depends on her.”  WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

The entire time, I was starting to feel ill.  Feverish, you might say.  I felt really scared, my pulse shot past the dugeun/doki stage into the hunted rabbit stage.

The surrounding people who knew me started to tease me and ask what I thought of that and I just felt smaller and smaller.  I was red already but I toppled out of the room, feeling like a sick dog.  I laid on my side on a bench in the hall leading into the room and someone friendly came over, concerned.
“Hey, are you feeling OK?”
“I’m feeling kind of sick all of sudden.”  I tried to explain what had just transpired. “… and now I don’t know why, maybe I felt like they were pressuring me too much, but I not only feel embarrassed, I feel sick as in I could throw up any minute now.”

Trust me, I felt like shit.

When I woke up, I was happy to not feel sick but I was also concerned about not resolving the situation.  I knew something was wrong with my reaction but before I could make a solution, I fell out of my subconscious and back into the conscious.  I’m still wondering what my dream means.  Does it mean that if I ever faced the possibility of a relationship in real life, I shouldn’t say yes to one because I wouldn’t be able to handle it?  I think so.  (Hahaha, I can’t sing, dance, nor perform on stage but if I ever tried to join a Korean entertainment agency, I could sign the no-dating clause in the contract.)